Sunday, August 06, 2006

Past Pleasures

MWS posed an interesting question the other day. Basically, she was asking if we feel guilty thinking about past relationships, especially erotic thoughts.

I must admit that, prior to my marriage almost 18 years ago, I hadn't had many long term relationships, although I did have few a good flings.

I do occasionally reflect on those times with fond and, I must admit, erotic memories.

I remember quit vividly my first proper girlfriend. I was 18 and she was 17, both of us virgins. It took me some time to persuaded her to make love but the wait was worth it. Not that we were sexually inactive during our courtship. She loved to cum and frottage was our most common way to achieve this; lying on my bed grinding our crotches together until we both came (which was a bit messy :).

I still see her occasionally, she's now married with a couple of kids, and I think of her sometimes when I'm playing with myself, remembering those inexperienced fumbles, the taste of her pussy and the feel of her hand around my cock.

I also think of other ex-girlfriends when I masturbate, remembering the feel of their bodies, their smells, their tastes and their little peculiarities. Actually writing this has brought back a whole series of memories that I hadn't thought about for years.

But, back to the original question, do these memories and, especially the arousal they bring, make me feel guilty. I think the answer to that is a resounding 'no'. In a lot of ways being aroused by these memories is less of an issue that being aroused by some stranger in a picture or a movie. Those were real people that formed an important part of my formative years. I only know the whereabouts of one of them and nothing is likely to happen between us. I like to think that they occasionally feel a little dampness between their legs or a little hardening of the nipples at the memories of what happened between us.

Then again, I don't feel any guilt about having an affair. It doesn't mean I love my wife any less, indeed in satisfying a need that she can't then it makes our relationship more stable.



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Spandex Ballet said...

I agree. I am in a similar marital situation to you except I haven't found my equivalent of your 'M'. When masturbating - and often when simply in a daydream - I remember quite fondly some earlier partners. One girlfriend in particular who gave me her virginity and grew to an incredibly ardent and passionate lover before she ended the relationship. She is still strong in my thoughts. I also remember fondly a man with whom I spent the night: indeed if I have one regret about meeting my wife and eventually marrying it is that I did not have opportunity to explore further sexual relationships with other men.

No guilt, no regrets.

single gal said...

well, i don't have a partner so i feel absolutely no guilt!
i do imagine fucking people all the time - sometimes their name escapes during a toe curler.

Tara Tainton said...

Always lovely to discover a new erotic blog written by a man...where have you all been hiding? I'm glad you're speaking your sexuality, and I love your words. :)


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