Thursday, April 28, 2005

Irish Virus

Ok, so it's a bit dogy but my Irish friends liked it.


What really happens when you make love!!

I was reading the Annals of Improbable Research the other day and came across an entry for a paper where some Dutch scientists had used an MRI scanner to record exactly what happens when you make love.

The first thing they showed is a "The Copulation" as imagined and drawn by Leonardo da Vinci.

This is how it was though the male and female anatomies were designed. Note the direct connection between the nipple and her groin, and the production of semen in the brain.

Next we have Dickinson in 1933 who seemingly had fun inserting glass test tubes into pretty young girls (Ok, I'm making up the fun and young bit) and came up with the following drawing.

This has become almost the standard image that we imagine fucking would look like. But no!!

The following is the image taken with an MRI scanner.

The conclusion that the penis turns into a boomerang in there is quite startling. There must be some pressure in there to cause that as I certainly can't make mine bend into that shape by hand (at least, not without doing a serious injury to myself).

They also used the scanner to image what happens inside a woman as she comes to orgasm, during the orgasm and post orgasm. It's incredible the way her insides change!!

So, if you want to know more, go and read the paper.

Magnetic resonance imaging of male and female genitals during coitus and female sexual arousal.

One last interesting point, the Leonardo sketch is owned by our own beloved Queen!!


Incredible Photo

This is one of the most erotic photographs I have seen in a long time.

More Bi-curiosity

Having just read the wonderful story posted by Sex Kitten, my potential latent bi-sexuality is again raising it's not-so-ugly head.

I found myself incredibly turned on by the story, especially the parts involving the two guys. The threesome turned me on as well but it was the MM thing that got me started. I have found myself turned on by descriptions of bi-sexuality before, it's even one of the bits of porn I occasionally look at. I even found myself getting turned on by the photo I posted of my own cock!! Not all pictures of cocks have this affect on me. The ones displayed in unfurlings blog for example, do nothing for me (sorry m8:).

I'm almost certain that I don't want to have a physical encounter with another guy. I hope this subject will become a recurring theme.

After writing this I went to look at:

  • lesbian porn, yup that turned me on.
  • gay porn - nope, flacid
  • bi porn - yup, turned on by that
  • boy/girl porn - yup, turned on, came buckets :)
Feeling a bit saner now.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Polite Words

As I review some of the things that I've written over the past few weeks, a thought springs to mind: Am I being a bit derogatory in my naming scheme for bodily parts?

Just what is a polite way to describe those parts of a girl that you want to fondle, kiss, insert object into or just plain stare at? I don't want to be clinical, I don't want to use terms like vagina, mammary glands, penis or rectum, I want something that is colloquial but not offensive (well, not offensive to people who read this sort of thing). There are lots of words to describe those body parts, some of which I've used but I try to stay away from the more extreme.

  • Pussy seems nice and gentle, something to stroke.
  • Cunt is too hard and a bit common.
  • Crotch is a bit old hat.
  • Mound of Venus is good but a bit arty farty.
  • Fanny is confusing to Merkins.
  • Tits is a almost OK
  • Boobs is fine, but a bit British
  • Jugs, Hooters, Bazookas etc are a bit to sexist (hey, I'm trying to be sensual here)
  • Breasts is OK but a bit clinical.
  • Bum is a great word but, again may confuse Merkins. The other issue with a bum is which particular bit does it refer to.
  • Anus is almost OK
  • Ass is too American
  • Arse is too British and, like cunt, can be taken the wrong way.
Not easy. I think I'll just have to watch the context in which I write and try not to be too repetitive.


Sunday, April 24, 2005


Incredible girl but, more importantly you can see that she doesn't shave under her arms. Trimmed yes, as are her pubes, but still with hair. Yummy.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Hey, I'm pretty average.

Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is...

Your Score:Average For All UsersAverage For All Straight Moderate Married Pink-Skinned 39 to 45-Year old Males
(5 total)

Dating38.46%32.07%30.77%Dated seriously
Self-Lovin'54.55%59.11%52.73%Master of your domain
Shamelessness79.03%77.32%74.84%Has yet to see self in mirror
Sex Drive73.81%74.99%71.9%A fool for love, but not always
Straightness22.22%36.51%12.96%Knows the other body type like a map
Dominant95%85.89%93.67%Afraid to cross at "Don't Walk" signs
Submissive96.83%86.17%94.92%Submits to no one... almost
Fucking Sick91.84%89.28%91.84%Refreshingly normal
Gayness100%77.02%98.52%Repressed, are we?
Total Score76.24%72.7%73.5%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0
and see how you match up!

(By The Ferrett)

Second night

My second night in the hotel was a bit more stayed than my first night, probably because I didn't have so much to drink. I still had a very vivid fantasy about my friend who I'd spent the whole day with at a business meeting. She had been wearing a very severe business suit but it's tightness showed off her beautiful bum and, when she removed her jacket, her breasts were very pert in a lovely floral bra just visible through the material of her blouse.

By the time I got back to the hotel I could barely contain myself. I quickly get rid of my own clothes and lay, naked, on the cool white sheets of the bed. My cock was already getting hard at the thought of her. I started to stroke myself as I imagined what it would be like to slowly unzip her skirt and watch it drop to the ground, revealing her cute little bum cheeks. Running my fingers over them, sliding a finger into her pants to feel the wetness of her ready pussy. Turning her round and pulling the panties down so that my mouth could explore the delicate musk of her sex.

Undoing the buttons of her blouse as she grabs hold of my rampant cock and slowly slides her hand up and down the shaft, rubbing her thumb over the wet glans as I pull up her bra and start to nibble on her already erect nipples. Her breasts fit nicely into each of my hands as I squeeze them, hearing her gasp with pleasure as one hand slides down her stomach and starts to toy with her clitoris, feeling her wetness as she squeezes my cock in readiness. She pulls my hands away and pushes my cock into her, sliding down the shaft, rubbing her clit against my pubic bone, grinding herself onto me.

All through this vivid vision I'm sliding my hand up and down my cock. The pre-cum acting lubricating my strokes. I can see the glistening pre-cum oozing out of my cock as I continue, getting faster and faster as I build up to a glorious orgasm. When I cum my semen shoots almost a metre across the bed, pumping out across my stomach and chest, it just keeps on cumming, more and more. I can't believe the amount that shoots out, it seems like gallons of the stuff is shooting out of me. My cock stays semi-rigid for a good few minutes after this, I continue to stroke myself gently as my erection slowly subsides. It's almost a quarter of an hour before I can stand up and go for a shower.

This morning I woke up with another raging hard on. Morning wood it's called. Not wanting to waste a good thing, I let my imagination wander back to my friend, thinking what it would be like to wake up to her with her lips clamped over my cock and her pussy moving to my face. I can almost taste her in my mouth, that muskiness of a women first thing in the morning. A morning wank doesn't last long but its a fantastic way to start the day, not as good as a morning fuck but close.

I'm back home now, life returning to normal with the wife and kids but that was definitely a trip to remember.


Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Fun with a vibe!!

One of the reasons that I write this blog is that it helps me deal with the element of secrecy in my life. To the outside world, to friends and family, I'm a reasonably normal guy. The fact that I have a desire for porn, that I enjoy masturbating, that I have a desire to massage my prostrate is hidden. I have no desire to make this known to anyone else, I've no hidden desire to shout it from the rooftops. I quite like keeping it quite, it's a very personal thing.

I was out for dinner last night with a few work colleagues. I fancy the pants off one of the girls and she knows it but we have both sorted things out platonically. That doesn't mean that I don't fantasise about what we could do together in a night of naked debauchery. When I got back to my hotel room, slightly the worst for wear, I dug out my laptop and fired up a porno flick I'd downloaded.

The first segment I watched was of two girls having sex. It started out as a audition. The casting director said that the movie required nudity and was the starlet OK with that. This amazing cute girl, with a London accent, answered this by removing her dress to show a perfect body with little pert breasts and little white panties. Obviously (as this is a porno) the casting director gets really turned on and starts to stroke the other girls body removing her panties to get at her beautiful pussy. Her pussy is nicely trimmed with a neat mound of hair that glistened with her juices. The girl leans over the casting directors desk and she starts to lick her thighs, working her way slowly up to that delightful hair covered mound. She slowly slid he tongue up and down her slit, sucking on the girls clit, sliding her tongue and her fingers inside. The juices were flowing freely and the wet trail down the girls thighs was plainly visible.


I thought of my work friend as the girl being pleasured by a girl friend or, indeed, by me. My cock was throbbing as I stroked it up and down. My foreskin pulled down over my glans, glistening with pre-cum and lube. I grabbed my vibe and stated to run it over my cock, playing it over the shaft before moving it down to my balls, feeling the vibration all through them and my cock. I ran a finger over my perineum, sliding it down to my ass. I dribbled some lube onto my finger and played it over my bum. I pushed the finger slowly inside, feeling the pressure subside as I got used to the feeling. Moving my finger in and out, loosening myself up, enjoying the sensations that this generated. I took my cock in one hand and played the vibe over my ass with the other. I pushed it in, slowly a first, pushing it in and pulling it out, feeling the vibrations running all through my body.

I pulled the vibe out and stroked my cock harder, imagining that it was pounding into my friends pussy, her writhing on top of me, pressing her breast into my mouth, biting her erect nipple, her clit rubbing up and down my cock. I feel her bend backwards, as she cums, thrusting herself down onto me, one more thrust and I orgasm. A torrent of warn cum spurts onto my chest and arms. I lie there for what seems like an age just relishing in the feeling.

The bad news was that I then had to clean up, but at least I didn't have to sleep on the wet patch :)


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Men be shaving badly

I really should be working :)

Anyway, an article I saw today in The Sun states that 1/3 of all men shave their "pubic region". This makes me feel a bit less weird :) As I've also started to shave my chest I was quite pleased to see that the survey, by shaver maker Philips, said that 80% of women prefer their men to have a smother look.


Off on my travels

I'm off to London tonight for a couple of days. This has a couple of good points and a couple of bad points.

Bad Points

  • I miss having someone to sleep beside.
  • I have to present a paper to 100 of my companies customers.
  • I hate traveling.
It's only a 1 hour flight but the total traveling time is more like 5 hours. It will take 30 minutes to get to the airport, another hour hanging around waiting for the plane, the getting the train from Heathrow into Paddington then a cab ride to the hotel. By the time I get there I'll be tired and will be in no mood to go out. I don't mind the presentations too much but I get really nervous. While it's nice to have a nice big bed to sleep in but I'd rather I wasn't alone in it.

Good Points
  • I get to stay in a five star hotel in the centre of London.
  • I get to drink and eat at the companies expense.
  • I'm alone in a hotel room and I can watch porn and masturbate in peace.
I did all my packing last night. I'm always afraid that I've forgotten something vital like a decent shirt and tie (I normally dress casually at work but have to wear a suit for my presentation). I packed all the usual stuff but this time I've decided to take along my vibrator.

This is a lovely little thing called a Power Pod that I've only used a couple of times now but never while I'm away. One of the few good things about being away is that there is no chance that I'll be disturbed when I'm enjoying myself (the down side is that I'm by myself). I get to lie naked on a clean sheets while I run the Pod over my balls and cock before lubbing it up and slowly push it into my bum. This generates an incredible feeling and combined with some gentle (or not so gentle) masturbation should produce a fantastic orgasm. The other advantage of doing this in a hotel room is that I don't mind how much I spurt or where it goes. At home I have to grab a tissue pretty quickly but in a hotel room I can lie and enjoy that post-cum sensation for as long as I like.

If I'm up to it I'll post another entry in a couple of days with some more information on what I got up to :)


Calling all Brits

I know that a few of my faithful readers are fron the UK but I was wondering how many.
While it's nice to know that I'm being read around the world, I'd like o know who is a bit more local.

If you're in the UK (especially if you are in Scotland), drop me a line.


Monday, April 18, 2005

Afternoon Delight

It's not only one of my favorite songs it's also one of my favorite pastimes.

My partner and I often go to bed at different times, she early me late. This is mainly due to her being pretty tired by the evening having to look after our kids (and me). It means that we rarely have a chance to make love at night.

This has lead to us both being quite keen on an a bit of afternoon delight. Often I'll take the day off work to go shopping with her. We will then have lunch in our favorite watering hole, the Scotch Malt Whisky Society. We then head home and if we have time before having to pick up the kids from school we'll jump into bed for some fun.

By necessity, this does normally have to be a quick one, unless we have an early lunch after which we can spend a bit more time enjoying each other. There is something quite decadent about having sex while it's still daylight outside. We both have a knowing smile on our lips as we meet up with the other parents at school who have no idea that a few minutes previously we were naked in each others arms making the beast with two backs.

We do have to be careful though, on Sunday we thought the two youngest kids were busy playing on their computer and the elder two were out. We started kissing and cuddling in the kitchen and I suggested we nip upstairs. I was quite surprised when she said yes so I picked her up and carried her up to our bedroom. We quickly got our clothes off and started playing with each other. She was very wet and I was rock hard as we indulged in a little foreplay. Next thing we know one of the kids stuck his head round our door to ask a question. Luckily he's a bit too young to wonder why mum and dad were in bed on a Sunday afternoon!! After he left we were still in the mood but had to hurry just in case.

I liked the extra spiciness of almost being discovered, it added an extra something to our love making but it's not something I want to make a habit of.


Friday, April 15, 2005

Things I like and dislike about Porn

There seems to come a time in every bloggers life when the must put a list in their blog. Now it's my turn. I've mentioned in previous entries that I have my likes and dislikes. These likes and dislikes are not always consistent. Sometimes things in my dislikes list turn my on. I feel my cock starting to rise when my brain is thinking no. I guess that just proves the old saw about men being ruled by something below the neck instead of above it.So my lists are as follows


  • Natural women
  • Normal men
  • Small boobs (A-D cup)
  • Girl on Girl
  • Boy/Girl
  • Boy/Boy/Girl
  • "Classic" Movies
  • European Movies
  • Amateurs
  • Voyeurism (even though 99.9% is fake)


  • Fake boobs
  • Huge boobs (D+)
  • Fat people
  • Completely shaved women. Even a thin landing strip is better than nothing.
  • Animals
  • Skat/piss. Why??
  • Extreme pain
  • Extreme insertions (just what is the point in showing that a girl can stuff a beer can up her cunt or, even worse, her ass? Doesn't that mean that your cock will just rattle around in there)
  • Gang bangs/Bukkake
  • Violence/Rape
  • Granny sex, yuck!!
  • Spitting. If you need lube, use KY!!
These lists are by no means exclusive, there are other things that I like although I just can't quite think of them just now.

Examples of my own inconsistencies are almost too numerous to mention. There is a scene in Emmanuelle in America where Emmanuelle plays with a horses cock. For some reason I found this very erotic. However, other pictures I've seen of more extreme animal action just turn me off. Recent postings on some groups I watch have talked about women having sex with their dogs, mainly being licked. Again I find these stores very erotic but again the thought of a girl being fucked by a dog also turn me off.

I like women who have at least some pubic hair, I just don't normally find totally shaven pussies a turn on, maybe they look too like pre-pubescent girl. If a girl has whispy underarm hair I can get really turned on, but too much hair is also a turn off. If you can see the hair when the girls arms are down then it's too much. If a girl has to wear shorts so that all her pubic hair is covered then she needs a trim. Girls, lets keep it there but neat.

That's it for just now


Monday, April 11, 2005

Women! Can't live with them..

After a particularly frustrating weekend of shopping with my partner, the old saw "Women! Can't live with them.." came to mind. The normal conclusion of this statement is "Can't live without them". However, I've come up with a couple of more apt alternatives:

  • 'Can't kill them and cut them up in the bathtub because who would clean up the mess'
  • 'Can't bury them in the garden without the neighbours seeing.'
  • 'Can't shoot them because guns are banned in the UK'
  • 'Can't kill them and boil up the remains as that's cooking and women's work'
And, of course,
  • Men: Can't live with why bother!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

She liked them :)

Last night, my partner got a chance to see my freshly shaved balls. Surprisingly, she gave them a lot more attention than she normally does, giving them a good fondling before moving on to stroking me. She still won't give me a blow job though, but I think I'm slowly breaking down that barrier.

There is only about one week a month that she is willing to have sex. The other three weeks are covered by PMS and her actual period. This week is my week and so we did manage to have a quicky. So that was a plus and I have a big smile on my face.


Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I shaved my balls today, Oh boy!

Not quite true, but I thought it was a snappy title.

About 18 months ago I had an incident that most men dread. While doing up the zip in my jeans I managed to catch some of my pubic hair. The expression "ouch" doesn't come close to describing the excruciating pain that such an act causes. I'm not into pain, I don't find it sexually exciting, indeed I find it the exact opposite.

So I decided to do something about it. Nothing drastic, just a light trim of the longer hairs that had been growing for all my adult life. Not that the hairs were that long. I had a nice busy crotch with the some nice hair showing up to my naval. I've continued to trim the hairs whenever they start to get a bit longer. This trimming has always been done with a pair of scissors, not too close and certainly not shaving. My experience with the scissors was reasonably pleasant except for one time when my hand slipped slightly and I drew blood, which hurt :(

Getting the hairs above my cock trimmed was pretty easy, especially as I trimmed them in the shower. The wetness allowed me to bunch up the hairs for easy removal. Same for the longer ones around my testicles, they could be snipped off quite easily. The problem was always that there were quite a few stragglers left.

I came up with the solution this morning. I first of all used my the beard trimmer attachment on my electric razor to finally tidy up all those remaining hairs on my testicles. This worked like a charm. While I don't want to shave off all my hair, my testicles are now pretty much hairless and feel lovely and smooth. It's quite incredible the difference in feel to the now.

Another interesting side effect was the response to the shaver. It must have been the vibration of the razor on my balls, but I got the most incredible erection as I was doing the trimming. Unfortunately, I was running late and didn't have time to make use of it.

As all you uncircumcised guys will now, cleaning under the foreskin is a vital part of ones daily hygiene routine. This, at least for me, involves pulling back the foreskin to give it good clean while in the shower. This is normally quite easy with a flacid member but is a bit more difficult when you have a rod between your legs. Cleaning in this state also acts as an extra stimulus and the damn thing just refused to go down. I eventually had to turn the cold water on.

Tonight, I think, my partner and I will be having some fun or, failing that, Mrs Palm and her lovely daughters will be getting the lube out.


Monday, April 04, 2005

Another beautiful nipple

This nipple belongs to Hikari Kisugi, a very beautiful woman indeed.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Naked Me??

Since I posted my last comment about my bi-curiosity, I've received a number of requests for pictures of myself naked. This was a bit of a surprise. There are a couple of pictures of me on my blog. See my a article on Amateur Porn. These were taken a while ago and I have changed a little bit, for the better I might add.

What was more of a surprise was that the majority of the requests appeared to come from woman. I thought that an article about homosexuality would generate more interest from guys.

I haven't decided yet what to do. I do have a couple of more recent pictures of myself that I've considered posting. If you have and thoughts on this, let me know. I may yet be persuaded.


Saturday, April 02, 2005

Bi Curious?

Like most guys (I think) I have at times wondered about my sexuality. Although having been 100% hetro occasionally I thought, when younger, that I may be attracted to guys but I quickly dismissed those thought.

Recently, I've been re-evaluating those opinion and have been beginning to think that there may be a side of me that wouldn't object to an encounter with another man.

This seems a bit weird to me. I mean, I'm married (to a woman), make love to her willingly, have kids all the normal things. To the best of my recollection I have never even seen another guy, in real life, with a hard on.

But, I have been realising that in watching porn, I find myself looking at the guys sometimes. Obviously, a large part of a porn seen is the initial fellatio and it's not always the girl I'm concentrating on. The guys cock starts to grab my attention and I begin to wonder.

For some reason that I can't quite fathom, pictures of she-males turn me on. I quite like the site of them getting fucked. The view of breast and a cock is quite weird but, at the same time, erotic. I also get turned on by MMF encounters where the two guys are into each other as well as the girl. My favorite picture from this sort of set would be a guy fucking a girl while being fucked himself, either by guy or, in a different premise, by a girl with a strap on.

Saying all this, I don't really have a desire for a cock up my arse. The thought of such a large object being inserted into me makes me a bit squeamish. Also I don't fancy sucking a cock. However, having my cock sucked by a pretty guy does turn me on, as does gently anal play. I love having a finger inside me. Maybe it's just the anal thing that is attracting me to these sorts of thoughts, maybe not. I'll wait and see.